Running Past the Bombs, Part 1 – A Personal Account of the Boston Marathon 2013

I knew it was not going to be a good marathon. I was nursing an injury that had prevented me from running anything longer than 8 miles. But this was no ordinary marathon. This was Boston, every marathoner’s dream is to line up in Hopkinton on Patriot’s day, 26.2 miles away from the screaming crowds at the finish on Boylston Street in downtown Boston. But at mile 15, as the groin pull was turning severe and several leg muscles were seizing up in concert, I had to stop running. Ashamed to be walking, I looked at the ground, walking past crowds who had come to cheer on the best runners on earth. I devised a plan of rest and running that would at least preserve a shred of dignity and let me run the last mile. Little did I know that my plan would put me within minutes of the bomb blasts that would kill 3 and injure over 170.

Marathon’s are hard. The first marathoner died. There was a Chicago marathon run in heat in which 2 runners never recovered. But runners say they are dying all the time. It’s a figure of speech I'll never use again. Or “running my legs off.” In Boston, people had their legs amputated after ball bearings and nails tore through flesh and shattered bone. What was my suffering compared to theirs? I won’t feel their pain. One mother had 2 children who will never walk again. That’s real pain. In less than a week, I can run again. I no longer want to. Those people came to see us run. Oh, God. Did we lead people to their disaster?

My wife was almost there in the crowd. We had plans for her see me finish. But as my finish was becoming uncertain, I cancelled her flight. She would have been waiting for me right there, standing with the crowd. May be she would have seen me run by and met up with me before the blast, maybe only 10 minutes earlier. Maybe.

Disasters have a way of making survivors recount the series of events that led to their narrow miss, speculating on actions done or not done that affected the outcome. It was a sentiment often expressed in the aftermath. Boston finishers tend to wear their distinctive clothing after the race. Groups of them were clustered in lobbies, airport gates, probably bars, recounting tales of dumb luck, some conscious decisions, a bad move that in hindsight proved fortuitous or a good move that put them near the blasts.

It’s now a week later. I’m not feeling lucky, or smart to have avoided the mess. I’m feeling guilty to have finished the marathon and walked away, responsible for the ones who could not, for causing my family and friends to worry, for a city to have stopped in its tracks, for being part of an event that could be such a choice target. For what, so I can hang up another medal? 

 

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